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3 things you need to address to help your children feel secure after your divorce

| Jan 19, 2021 | Child Custody |

It’s easy to focus on how your divorce will impact you, but you also need to think about how it will affect your children. There are many effects that some parents might not think of right away because they’re thinking about how the child will adjust to a life split between two homes. 

Divorce can actually bring many issues into play that can affect the way your children think and feel. As a parent, your goal is to help your children feel as safe and as secure as possible, despite the changes in their lives. Here are three things you may need to address:

Money matters

Your children might not realize what a financial impact the divorce has on each parent. What they may notice is how this changes what they can do. The decrease in available money from each parent could mean that some extracurricular activities become impossible or that the kids can’t have the extras they are used to having. 

It may be necessary to scale back and explain to your children that doing with less is not the same as “doing without.”

Relationships

When parents divorce, children often worry about how their relationships will change. They might be concerned that they won’t get to see cousins, grandparents and other family members.

You and your ex should try to reassure your children that they will still be able to build and maintain relationships with these individuals. Make a point of attending family gatherings, arranging visits with grandparents and so on.

Emotional turmoil

Some children will cope better with divorce than others, particularly if the marriage was often in conflict. Some children may feel devastated by the family split. You’ll have to watch for signs that something is amiss. These can include avoiding friends or giving up things they enjoy.

It may be time to engage in a little family therapy or spend extra time talking about their feelings.

Having a solid parenting plan set as quickly as possible enables the children to adjust to the new way of life. The stability this provides can help them to thrive, so work closely with your attorney to try to get the terms worked out.