Phoenix Arizona Family Law Blog

Parenting after a divorce can be a challenge for those living in Arizona or anywhere else. This is because some people cannot get along with their former spouses after a marriage ends. However, it is more important that they get along with their children even if they can't make a relationship work with each other. A situation in which parents have relationships with their children while avoiding each other is called parallel parenting.

It is likely necessary for parents to communicate with each other on occasion after divorce. For those who truly can't communicate with each other, it may be best to create an agreement that they can rely on to answer questions or resolve disputes. At a minimum, parents should have respect for one another and make it a point to not interfere with the relationship that person has with a son or daughter.

Some divorced parents in Arizona might choose a custody arrangement that is sometimes called "birdnesting." This means that the children remain at home while the parents take turns living there. The parents usually also take turns sharing a small apartment elsewhere. The main advantage of birdnesting is that it gives children a period of time where there is minimal upheaval in their lives, allowing them to better adjust to the divorce.

However, most experts say this is not an arrangement that is likely to work over the long term. Recommendations for an upper limit range from three to six months. One problem is that children may start to believe the arrangement means their parents are working on a reconciliation. Another is that even though parents may get along well, having to share both living spaces can eventually lead to conflict over large or small issues.

Many Arizona parents may face a difficult time during a divorce, often because the split nearly always means a reduction in time spent with the children. While some divorcing parents are able to reach an amicable conclusion that shares parenting time, others have a more difficult or volatile relationship that can devolve into a drawn-out custody battle in court. When the latter situation happens, both parents may feel as if they were treated unfairly in family court.

Some may feel as if their arguments weren't taken seriously, and some fathers may believe they are the victims of bias. It is true that up to 80 percent of child custody cases involve primary custody held by the mother. However, most of these situations don't involve custody battles with each parent seeking additional time; in most cases, the mother is the only parent actively seeking custody. In addition, shared or joint custody is increasingly the legal standard nationwide, even though some judges may retain unfair or traditional biases.

With immigration arrests and deportations in Arizona and throughout the country on the rise, the number of children who remain in the United States after their parents are deported is also rising. Of children whose grandparents or other family members are raising them, 20 percent are in immigrant households.

Some states have taken steps to help parents appoint guardians in case they are deported. Usually, these guardianships are set up so they only take effect if what is called a "triggering event" related to immigration occurs. For example, a law was passed in Maryland that allows parents to set this up without relinquishing their parental rights. New Jersey and Pennsylvania have introduced similar laws. In New York, if parents are taken into custody on immigration-related charges, they can appoint a guardian. Legal guardians in the state can also appoint a standby guardian. All of these measures allow parents to ensure their children will be cared for without losing their rights.